Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
