I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
