hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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