Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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