i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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