look no pants
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
