Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All the doctor said was why
So apparently I’m into choking now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
