two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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