the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have fence marks all over my body
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
