Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
