Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize