We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
