Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
