Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
