Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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