I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
