yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
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"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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