Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
