I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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