I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i love accidental penises.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
