You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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