Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
