I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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