so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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