So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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