I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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