girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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