I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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