i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
