no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
