You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
