Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
