My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
