Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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