Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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