Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
