3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
