you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
