my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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