Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
