i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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