The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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