I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
