I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
