i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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