Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
