You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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