he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
