he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
