I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
