She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
