Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
