Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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