Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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