so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
