I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
