Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
