That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
