Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize