Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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