I love black thongs
oh god the rape fog is back!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
