is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
