There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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