just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
