He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Hippo gnu deer
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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