The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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