in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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